Anxiety About How To Start School

What should I do?

My brain is bombarded by choices
Every choice has another ending
A new class, with no friend known
I'd know nothing at the start of this term

I can read books, see the class for some time
Have an idea about the possibilities
Then start slowly after a month
To learn about the class as first glance

I can start talking to everyone
No matter who I'm talking to
But they could be my bestie, as well enemy
Shouldn't I first examine, or should I risk?

I can be a closed box, and just listen others
I can be an open box, and could be humiliated
I can build a wall around me,
The castle still remains after all

Shouldn't I be myself?
Shouldn't I write poems?
Shouldn't I make philosophy?
Should I find friends by accepting applications?

Am I searching for the best?
Am I trying to be the best?
I'm just trying to make friends, but
Wouldn't it be hard if i don't have any plans?

I listened other people's ideas
To shape my own idea
But the end result doesn't feel
Like I can do for a long time

They said: Be social! Talk to other people!
Don't show your poems! Don't talk about past!
Be yourself! Choose your friends wisely!
Don't trust easily! Don't tell your thoughts!

How the frick am I gonna do all these things?
Some of them contradict between themselves
Now, in the end everything became a mess,
And going unplanned is worse than this